The Fortuneteller
A couple years ago I was wandering around a local fair and decided to have my fortune told. I was alone, my girlfriend had just dumped me and I was feeling way too sorry for myself.
I can't remember if they had Tarot cards or a crystal ball. I do remember it was $10 for the cheap reading and $20 for the deluxe (sucker) reading. Naturally, I chose the deluxe (sucker) reading.
I found some of her insights interesting. She correctly deduced (or whatever supernatural process is applicable) I was recently dumped (maybe my droopy demeanor, or tear stained mascara gave me away), and she said I'd find someone else (which did happen). I was surprised she knew I was self-employed, and she said business was good (of course, I did spend the $20...).
Then she spoke of a person I knew who was ill. That's a pretty safe guess on her part, I'd be surprised if anyone doesn't know someone who's ill. She said he wasn't going to make it, it was going to be bad. Big mistake...
I reacted immediately and aggressively. All the light bulbs on all the amusement rides exploded from the percussion of my aura (no...not really). I gave her the look.
This is the same look I give just before disembowling someone with 14 items in the express line. It is the look that makes strangers back off immediately. It's a mystical power. And it worked. My friend had several surgeries and was not doing well, but I changed his destiny, saving his life. She actually backed off and changed her mind, and said he'd be ok. And sure enough, he's fine.
So, I find no point to Fortunetellers other than entertainment. Do not accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, kick their asses, and live happily ever after.
I can't remember if they had Tarot cards or a crystal ball. I do remember it was $10 for the cheap reading and $20 for the deluxe (sucker) reading. Naturally, I chose the deluxe (sucker) reading.
I found some of her insights interesting. She correctly deduced (or whatever supernatural process is applicable) I was recently dumped (maybe my droopy demeanor, or tear stained mascara gave me away), and she said I'd find someone else (which did happen). I was surprised she knew I was self-employed, and she said business was good (of course, I did spend the $20...).
Then she spoke of a person I knew who was ill. That's a pretty safe guess on her part, I'd be surprised if anyone doesn't know someone who's ill. She said he wasn't going to make it, it was going to be bad. Big mistake...
I reacted immediately and aggressively. All the light bulbs on all the amusement rides exploded from the percussion of my aura (no...not really). I gave her the look.
This is the same look I give just before disembowling someone with 14 items in the express line. It is the look that makes strangers back off immediately. It's a mystical power. And it worked. My friend had several surgeries and was not doing well, but I changed his destiny, saving his life. She actually backed off and changed her mind, and said he'd be ok. And sure enough, he's fine.
So, I find no point to Fortunetellers other than entertainment. Do not accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, kick their asses, and live happily ever after.
posted by Tom Demko at
6:02 PM
1 Comments:
If I were a fortuneteller I would never predict someone's death. It's quite common that people are ill or having problems, but they usually don't die. Good thing she wised up.
By
Colby, at 12:42 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home