The Hyperdump

This morning I experienced a "bowel movement milestone". I'm aquainted with someone who constantly critiques his excretions, and while funny as hell, is a bit strange. I promise to keep my potty-talk to a minimum.

I can estimate size and time pretty well, and a good thing too; I would not want to hold a tape measure to this...12 inches! I'm not kidding! I gave birth! Now I know how a chicken feels...it was like, what's happening here? I'm not reaching a "pinch point", we're not in Kansas anymore!

I heard a thud, then actually stood to marvel at what just happened. What God hath brought! The dump to end all dumps! But there it was, like the Alaskan pipeline, a beached whale! This isn't going to pass through the trap in the toilet, it's like trying to thread a needle with a sledgehammer (sludgehammer)!

Well, I could have digi-cammed a photo, but that's too weird, so I decided to test the engineering of my American Standard Cadet. I have to say, this must be the tour de force for sanitary device engineers. Flush, and I'm amazed it's gone.

And I feel heavenly (and much lighter) now, if I smoked I'd light one up...