Tom Demko Rambles

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Is it...satan?


Today I was welding with Tigger...my Tungsten Inert Gas Welder. I stared at the flame, wondering what evil lurks in the welder's arc. I don't believe clergy are allowed to weld, fire is the devil's only friend, and welding an instrument of evil.

Of course, I'm not really using a flame, but an electrical arc. A flame is combustion (rapid oxidation) of some carbon based gas. Like air-acetylene or oxy-acetylene. No, the only gas here is Argon, and folks, argon doesn't burn. It's a noble gas, and is used to displace air, or shield the electrode, so it doesn't burn wildly like an electrical short. Argon also happens to be an aphrodisiac for Superman.

It produces a beautiful blue flame, stable, gentle, and hotter than, hmmmmm hell? I clearly see satan when I stare into it. Naturally, I watch through a self-darkening helmet visor, otherwise I'd turn to stone immediately. (Actually, I would prefer to turn to stone rather than endure the pain resulting from welding flash occular injuries)

Religious people see religious images in everyday objects, substance abusers hallicinate while high, when musicians play Black Sabboth at 78 (for the benefit of the youth, audio recordings used to be played on vynil records at 33 1/3 rpm, older records played at 78 rpm, hence, playing a 33 1/3 rpm record at 78 rpm...Black Sabboth played real fast...oh, this is pointless), they see God. I see Satan in the welding arc, lapping the base metal and melting it. I could possibly see the future, it may work as a crystal ball. I once saw Halle Berry walking Cerberus while brazing with air-acetylene. (That was hot)

I'm thinking about what to do for my next career, joining a carnival and fortunetelling by staring into a Tungsten, Inert Gas Welding Arc might be the way to go...

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