Freedom

There's a fish tank at a breakfast place I frequent, where suddenly my breakfast buddy pointed out one of the fish was taking a dump. I probably wouldn't have noticed, and perhaps he should have kept his trap shut. Time stopped for an instant and the earth shook as my mind's wheel began to rotate.

"Now that's freedom!" I exclaimed. It's so oppressive to be forced to control one's bodily functions. And for what? Appearances? It's not like the Queen of England doesn't squat to pinch a loaf. The pope may not shit in the woods all that often, but I'll bet he's clogged the Holy Crapper during his reign.

Perhaps the garden of eden was our being animals, and the apple (orange) of knowledge our evolution to society. Paradise was pooping whenever, fornicating like rabbits and not having the mental capacity for regret. There was no "politically correct, as a matter of fact, there was very little connecting action with consequence. No taxes! Now that's Freedom!