Silly Human Behavior

I believe one should spend four seasons with a significant other before making serious commitments. You just never know someone until you torture them. Yesterday, I was at my GF's apartment, and threw away an empty tea box. Not long afterwards, she removed it from the trash can and examined it, checking to be sure it was empty.

Now, it makes me wonder. Did she think I disposed of it with tea bags inside? Maybe I was going to smuggle them out with the trash and bring them home later. Maybe there was a prize inside for her to find. In her defense, I can be quite unpredictable and exhibit behaviors indigenous to the very brilliant or the criminally insane. Hmmmmmmmmm...Or was it a "glitch" in the matrix?

Senior Moment

I hesitate to call them "Senior" moments, as it links diminished mental function with inevitable aging. I prefer to think of them as "glitches in the matrix". Anyhow, the other day I was about to open my front door, frantically searching for the door keys, which were in my hand. I know it sounds bad, but then, I was holding several items.

For a while I was taking Gingko Baloba, but I stopped as I perceived no benefit. I forget things, lose blocks of time, etc. I've experienced better performance by maintaining physical health and exercising my mind.

Something tells me I'm in for more "glitches", but outside of locking myself out of the house or walking around with my pants unzipped, I'm ok.

Why are my best business ideas illegal?

I have brilliant business ideas, as do most people, but they never seem to be quite legal. For example, watching the news one evening, finding the anchor-woman to be most attractive, I said to myself...She's hot...I'd like to stalk her! I've never stalked anyone, I don't know why it even came to mind. I might have considered her "out of my league" back in the days before I abolished the "league" system (it wasn't working for me). Anyhow, I soon realized I didn't have the time to stalk her. So, "click", the light comes on. How about starting a "stalking service". A professional stalker, probably an ex-pi, tracks the movements and activities of your subject, and submits a professionally type-written report on a weekly basis.

This is a great business idea because many people will wish to stalk the same person, so you could create "economies of scale". But get this. Stalking is illegal.

The "Mutual of Omaha Dating Service" was more obviously unlawful. The customer simply chooses the person of their affections, and Jim waits in a blind with a tranquilizer rifle. Your future mate is then weighed, measured, tagged with a radio transmitter, and delivered to your house, where she will be impressed by your obsessive and criminal intensity and fall madly in love with you. Or not.

Then there was the bowl of rocks to place on your dashboard to throw at motorists who upset you. Or the "Hellmark Hate Cards"...

Well, back to the lab then...

Priorities

Waiting for Billy H

I can't help but wonder if Bill Gates gets some perverse satisfaction from the reality that almost every computer-using human on the planet waits for Windows to boot up. Maybe it's retribution for a time he was stood up, or maybe stuck in traffic, but he's having the last laugh. What's Windows doing during the 4 minute startup? If you listen real close, you can hear your computer lackadaisically singing "La de da, da, da, dee, dum, etc". We all wait for Billy H.

Why is it when I dial a wrong area code it takes forty rings for the automated message to answer? And why, if it is possible to put a living, breathing man on the moon, I have to know when or when not to dial 1?